Sitting on a fence

This has not been a good week. I'm slowly losing hope in my chances of running this marathon. I went to see an orthopedic physician yesterday and that was pretty worthless. He did prescribe me some anti-inflammatory medicine, which were free at the pharmacy! He did an x-ray and it came back fine. He started telling me at the end of the appointment that "humans just aren't made to run 26 miles. Most people would be happy just running 4." NOT what I wanted to hear from anyone right now! I was fighting back tears while sitting there. So I left there, determined that I would get a recommendation for a better doctor from my PT this morning.

This morning at the appointment, I asked the PT if he's known anyone to get a cortisone shot for IT band syndrome, and he said he wouldn't really recommend it. So, the cortisone shot idea is out. I said to him, "I'm at a loss of what to do. Do I just give up and not run or do I still give it a shot?" He immediately said he would give it a shot. So that was uplifting. He hasn't given up hope yet, I guess. He joked that I should just take a bunch of morphine beforehand. I'm now wondering if I can get some painkillers from anyone. I know that idea is a little out there.

I'm hoping the anti-inflammatory meds do the trick. I told the PT I was planning on not running this weekend, but he said I should try to get out for 3-4 miles. I'm hoping for no pain. I'll go out slow and I will walk the hills if I start to feel any tension in my knee.

This is all just a little too much for me. I'm just flabbergasted that I could make it up to 18 miles and all of the sudden my IT band just wanted to quit. I'll probably never do this again to my body...running a marathon, that is. I'll probably do some halfs and shorter distances, but no more marathons. Unless I don't finish this one, and then I'll feel the need to try again until I can complete it.

I need to get myself out of this mental slump I'm in. I've been in such a bad mood about my injury that I have done no mental preparation for the marathon. I've just kind of assumed I wouldn't be able to finish it. But who knows...maybe these anti-inflammatory meds will do the trick and I will be able to run. Or maybe the walking will help. I need to start doing some positive thinking so I can have the best day possible next Sunday. And I just need to be proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far. It's just so hard to do so when the final goal is so close, yet there is such a large obstacle standing in front of you!